May 2021
About Poemography
To commemorate the tenth anniversary of my Poem-A-Day Project, I am reprising my daily poetry challenge in 2021.
Every day this year—from January 1st until the 31st of December—I will create a new poem inspired by whatever moves me at the moment I sit down to compose that day's poem, publishing them here with subscription-free access for all.
Every Tuesday throughout the year, I will write and publish one bonus poem that will be available exclusively to my Patrons on Patreon.
In 2022, I will publish a book of my complete poems, spanning more than 40 years of poetry writing. The complete collection of poems will be published in a limited edition hardbound book available for purchase. As an added feature, I'm considering releasing some of the poems in this collection as spoken word recordings by a variety of special guest readers. Enjoy the year!
31MAY21
Drowning
I've always been afraid of drowning
I grew up hearing stories about our
Next door neighbor's youngest son
Who drowned at the High Ridge Y
I've swum by myself so many times
Alone in lakes, pools and seas; on
Sunny days and under starry skies
But always with certain trepidation
The fear of drowning incessantly on
My mind as I swim beneath the cold
Flowing water completely immersed
In the idea of never breathing again
Even now during cherished moments
Whilst pampering myself in the bath
My enjoyment is often interrupted by
Morbid images of Dolores O'Riordan
30MAY21
Part of Me
Part of me wants to sail quietly into the sunset
Yet another part of me wants to be the sunset;
While I'm consistent in all my inconsistencies
I've come to a watershed moment in my life
Every day a different dilemma, some new or
Nagging predicament that shuffles me out of
My element and diverts my attention to these
Uncompromisingly uncertain twists and turns
You say I should be happy with what I have
Let the universe guide me and trust in myself
Listen to the voices inside my head telling me
To believe that destiny will reveal my purpose
But part of me wants to go back to bed, let
The weight of the world fall upon someone
Else's shoulders; and part of me tries to lift
Myself out of the clutches of self-destruction
29MAY21
The Brothers Baptista
It's been a while since I've felt the
Authentic warmth of camaraderie;
Chewing the fat and sharing some
Quality time with a few good men
I've forgotten what a bond feels like
When kindred spirits unite and time
Stands still and nothing else matters
Except for that very moment in time
We chatted until well past midnight;
Drinking cider and sipping espresso
With Disaronno from the bottle you
Brought over to the shop last month
And we talked about ordinary things
Like work and music; but it was more
Than idle chitchat, it was the presence
Of brotherhood when I needed it most
28MAY21
The Fog is Lifting
It feels as if the affliction will never end
But it always does; the seasons, moon,
The winds of change always blowing
And blustery; then comes the sun
From the storm clouds emerge
Blinding rays of light illuminating
What had been hidden for too long
Revealing scars and remnants of sorrow
Then Wilma Jean and Bertha appeared to
Me in a dream; they were dressing in
Sequin covered gowns getting ready
To perform in the grand finale
I couldn't believe how young
And radiantly beautiful they had
Remained after all these years; they
Came to me like angels on a starry night
27MAY21
Looking Out of the Window
I oftentimes find myself standing in front of the window
Never really knowing why I went there in the first place
But I stand there nevertheless looking out at trees and the
Sky and birds and neighbors smoking out on their balconies
I stare into the distance and soon my mind begins to wander
And wonder; then questions begin inundating my thoughts
Distractions and contradictions callously disrupt the calm;
I close my eyes if only to center myself in my existence
And I make a soft white bread roll with peanut butter,
Honey and potato chips and sit upon a small white stool
Overcome by the sudden fear that an airplane might crash
Into the apartment, I contemplate how I will save my family
I have far too much time on my hands and a mind obviously
Riddled with riddles and belittled by little voices in my head
Constantly reminding me to go and stand in the window to
Look out into the vastness of the endless void of my reality
26MAY21
Ode to Weariness
There are some days when I don't
Recognize the person in the mirror
Some things are bigger, some are
Waning, weak, worn and weary
My body feels mangled, twisted,
Damaged beyond repair; decay
Perpetuating defeat on what was
Once rugged, resilient and lithe
But despite my efforts and zeal
To keep well, fit and balanced,
Nature has wreaked her cruelty
Upon my body, mind and soul
So, I will rest and heal and try
To gently restore what needs to
Be looked after; if only I could
Float amidst the clouds and sun
25MAY21
Withdrawal
Decay is a discomforting tool
It rips the very life from one's
Being, soul and grace; death
No longer has a need for us
I've never been a craftsman
Able to skillfully tool a chair
But in my imagination I have
Done it time and time again
And in similar respects I have
Left you a thousand times only
To have my conscience return
Me to the point of departure
If only to withdraw far enough
To alleviate all of my suffering
In some faraway place where
You are only a distant memory
24MAY21
Retracing My Steps
I'm still chasing dreams
That one thing I'm good at
The thing that will tick all the
Boxes and satisfy my sentiments
I'm retracing my steps; going back
To my origins and earliest recollections
Where surely I'll find a clue as to what I
Have overlooked and where I can begin anew
But these journeys always lead to the same place;
Destinations that curry regret and disillusion
Reminders of failure and deficiency; but
I've missed something along the way
It was the moment of acceptance;
The very instant where I came to realize
That retracing my steps would only lead me
Back along the same path of turmoil and discontent
23MAY21
Eurovision(less)
Year after year, the spectacle, the songs
The atrocious costumes, fatuous dancing
Millions spent in the name of entertainment
Better utilized on social programs or orphans
The dry, stilted humor of lackluster presenters
All the hokey special effects and graphics
The feigned applause and accolades
The honey dripping from mouths
One billion people represented
And it's these 26 low-talent oddballs
Who are, to our surprise, the best of the
Very best selected to represent their homelands
And when the dubiously questionable voting had
Ended and the dust of ambiguousness settled,
Rock and roll took the prize when it simply
Should have just Shut Up and Behave[d]
22MAY21
May 18, 2021 (Delilah's Gift)
I came home late from work
Showered and got ready for bed
And discovered the little package you
Left for me under my blanket with what you made
A hand-folded envelope, note and a little balloon
Filled with tiny plastic beads like these Japanese
Mochi Squishy sensory toy stress relievers
That are popular with kids these days
But it was the kindness of your gesture
That made me realize what a gift my entire
Life has been; not only its components—people,
Places, possessions, purpose—but the gift of life itself
Looking back over my life, I'd always reflected on all
I haven't been able to attain—fame, fortune, record
contracts, book deals, fancy cars, houses—only to
Realize that I never needed any of that at all
21MAY21
Liverpool
Gray skies always bring me back to Liverpool
But what I remember most about those years
Was the silence; a serenity, a pure and
Calming quiet that eased my soul
We lived in a small apartment in
The city center in a building designed
In the 1880s; the units were mostly small
Duplexes; simple, modest, cozy and warm
And once you came inside and closed the
Door, it was as if time stood still and all
Of life's troubles were reduced to a
Soft, muffled, calm-inducing silence
I spent most of my days alone there
Cleaning, writing and biding my time;
We lived a practical and unassuming life
With few possessions and the innocence of joy
20MAY21
A Solemn Anniversary
The 45th anniversary of my bar mitzvah is
Approaching and I've recently browsed my
My photo album from that simcha only to find
That 50 of those in attendance have passed away
Some were family, others friends of my grandparents
But all gathered at The Northshore in Evanston to
Celebrate my right of passage; there was food
And merrymaking, dancing and dessert
Arnold and Sima Miller performed
Owen Scott Shirwo took photographs
My uncle Al said the prayer over the challah
My friends lit up the dance floor and Limbo stick
I look at all those faces and each one stirs up a
Hundred memories, anecdotes and emotions
From times gone by; those were the most
Splendid and innocent of all my days
19MAY21
Marianne
Veiled in a shroud of ignorance
Lost in a sea of loneliness and
Unfilled dreams; your search
For identity should be within
You've lived your life in the
Shadows of others; unloved,
Unappreciated and unaware
Of your quest for enlightenment
Then you fell victim to the biggest
Lie of all; you thought it would
Save you, purify you, turn your
Misery into truth and salvation
But imprudence is an unchanging
State of being; and while your
Heart may be yearning to do
Good; your motives are moot
18MAY21
Savoir Faire
Granted, I have chosen a profession
Hardly chock-full of intellectuals and
Sophisticated gentlemen, and that's
Not suggesting I see myself as such
At my very best I can hold my own;
Engage at length about news of the
World; literature, war and political
Discourse; sports and entertainment
And while my dilettante skills may
Leave a lot to be desired, it is, I've
Been told, charisma and top notes
Of savoir faire that set me apart
But that's a blessing and a curse;
I think to myself how nice it would
Be if I was lauded equally for my
Mastery as I am for my blabbery
17MAY21
The Fray
It’s hard not to get caught up in the fray
Life passes at such breakneck speeds
And just like that we become old
Decrepit beings at death's door
Frail and stinking, our lives are
The morning breath of the farcical
Daydreams we've slept through and
The nightmares we succumb to each day
We bleed, we cry, we carry the traumas
Of our ancestors whose lives were
Little more than glum travesties
And harrowing sacrifices
But there's more to behold;
An indelible longing to survive
To weather the storms and confront
The deluge of life's interminable suffering
16MAY21
Resignation
It brings a sort of levity and peace of mind
Looking back on one’s entire life with all its
Foibles and the harsh reality that everything
Has been a fiction; that it's all been a wash
With the sudden and very stark realization
That you’ve already had a second chance,
And fucked that up too, makes it as plain as
The nose on your face that it's time to re-think
But it's not as bad as it seems; now there will
Be time to live; to live the real life abandoned
Long ago for dreams; left by the wayside of an
Unattainable pursuit of fame, fortune and glory
It's not about seeking out clarity or redemption,
Pats on the back or sympathy; it's about finally
Coming to terms with one's own shortcomings
And living blissfully in truth and enlightenment
15MAY21
Amanda
I often contemplate chance meetings:
Ones that happened, ones that didn't
And ones that could have but clearly
Never will; and then there's Amanda
I suppose it saddens me in some ways
That we will never meet; but in others,
I'm resigned to idea that it's fine if we
Don't; maybe it's even better that way
It gives me wondrous opportunities in
Creating the perfect scenario, where
You become the very embodiment of
Everything and everyone I've desired
A friend, a lover, a muse and the true
Personification of the kind and trusting
Soul who sanctifies the human bond as
I believe you certainly and lovingly do
14MAY21
The Stones of Betrayal
We never really know anyone at all;
We only come to know them in our
Perception of who we think they are
Or who we want or need them to be
And the roles we play in our lives are
Cumbersome fabrications conforming
To norms imposed on us by a skewed
Society and patriarchal misalignment
The unkind lesson to be learned from all
This is humanity is becoming untangled
From centuries of conventions that have
Insanely compartmentalized civilization
We are no longer who we think we are
We are no longer the pegs that fit into
Their corresponding holes; and only the
Stones of betrayal shatter bones of truth
13MAY21
The Bandwagon
Your care and concern are valid
Your compassion and empathy
Worthy of praise; but your
childlike innocence and
Flagrant lack of having
Little to no understanding of
History make you an oblivious
Flavor-of-the-month activist jumping
On yet another bandwagon supporting
Who you believe to be the oppressed
Underdog in a never-ending political
Struggle you know nothing about;
So, please, read the history books
Find a better cause to defend and go
Back to sharing your pictures of kitty cats
Rainbows, bacon and bathroom makeovers
12MAY21
Introspection
Not every journey leads to paradise
Not every romance leads to love
Not every house is a home
Not every man is gentle
Not every sea is blue
Not every tree stands tall
Not every garden is green
Not every opportunity is golden
Not every tomorrow is a guarantee
Not every dream comes true
Not every poem rhymes
Not every pearl is real
Not every lie is malefic
Not every promise is kept
Not every storm brings rain
Not every song can soothe the soul
11MAY21
Panic
It's been thirty years since that night
Long ago high above LaSalle; I haven't
Missed you but your memory has lingered
Long into the present lying dormant and waiting
Once again you came to me in the night; taking
Me by surprise in a moment of unsuspecting
Fragility and vulnerability; all I wanted was
To sleep, to put the day far behind me
I stood, ever so carefully, pain raging
Through my torso; contemplating my every
Move, reaching for my everyday clothes there
On the railing, praying this would not be the end
At it wasn't; I made it downstairs, the storm soon
Passed and the clouds parted long enough for
Me to find respite among clearer skies; but
Storms always return to the ill at ease
10MAY21
Crooked
I wonder how long I could just lie here
Flat on my back like a slab of rotting skin
And bones reeking of camphor, menthol and
Cassia oil; breathing through this agonizing pain
Listening to podcasts that bore me to sleep carrying
Me away to pain free dreams where I try escaping
The reality of my predicament; but the pain follows
Me there confounding my dreamscape sanctuary
The clock keeps ticking closer to the seven-year-old
Chinese boy’s haircut; waiting for a call from my GP,
Contemplating what on earth I can do with my crooked
Spine to make it straight again; I could go back in time, to
That day in 4th grade when they screened us for Scoliosis;
But I was too afraid and hid in the bathroom; got the bad
News at 30; 42 degrees according to Dr. Cobb’s Angle;
Now there's only pain, regret and whatever comes next
09MAY21
Distant Thunder
I would like to live out my days
In a serene place with sounds of
Distant thunder and warm gentle
Breezes soothing my troubled mind
A place where the days are long and
Nights filled with music and candlelight
Somewhere my soul can feel at home; a
Place where the air is clean and nourishing
A place where we can live free from all the
Malignancies of our world; where we can sit
Alone on the shore speaking with our touch and
The cadence of our two hearts beating in unison
But where is such a place if not only in my dreams
Existing in a vast emptiness between hope and reality;
A chasm so wide and interminable, where clouds are at
An arm's length floating innocently above the morning mist
08MAY21
Abbi (For A.Z.)
Your 93-year journey has come to its end
Perhaps, though, it is merely the beginning of
Another; and how you were admired, loved and
Respected by so many who must endure your absence
They say you can see a man's soul in his eyes, but your
Eyes revealed more than a soul; they revealed an
Indelible passion for life, for family and friends;
For those near, far and long departed
Funny how strangers can have such an
Impact on the lives of those they never knew;
But the common thread that runs through all our
Lives connects us in the most mysteriously wondrous ways
And now comes time for mourning, for acceptance and to
Embrace the legacy you have left; from Allah you came,
And to Allah you have returned; a blessing that will
Be celebrated with every breath until the very last
07MAY21
Bedridden
Life is a series of ups and downs
Sometimes sideways and others it's
Backwards and inside out; I wonder how funny
I must look tossing and turning and spinning around
Like a dog who twirls in place until settling into that
One comfortable position; I am learning to breathe
Through the pain, difficult as it is; I am one who
Has only rarely experienced physical pain
I have always imagined physical pain and
Emotional pain to be of the same intensity, and
Can say, unequivocally, they are not; physical pain
Eludes to the slow and callous decay of our feeble body,
While emotional pain lives deep within our moribund soul;
Two deaths within the same living organism, as if one
Wasn't enough; but if I close my eyes for a moment
The pain subsides and leaves only a tender scar
06MAY21
Late Blooming Trees
I can relate to the late blooming trees
How they've moseyed and meandered
Acquiesced in their debut, giving way
To the inclemencies of a ruthless spring
But now there is sunshine and warmer
Air; the buds have sprouted as the soft
Burgundy leaves begin to stretch out on
Their branches hailing the gentle breeze
I was a young man then coming into my
Own; with calendar days and hourglass
Moments, time drifted into an empty past
Where only vague memories of you and
Sandy beach kisses lingering like salty
Lips tingling in the frothy waves; those
Days are far from my springtimes past
When I was filled with zeal and desire
05MAY21
What Pain Looks Like
This is what pain looks like;
You can see it if you look
Carefully at the words
And words never lie
You can't blame the
Words if they are spoken
With fallacious design or bad
Intent; after all, they are only words
But pain, that is a grievous reality
And if you don't want to take my
Word for it, I don't blame you
Which won't change a thing
But if you want to sit beside
Me and hold my hand and ease
Me through the pain, I would not
Object and take your hand and sleep
04MAY21
Lake House Revisited
I've been thinking about that day at
The lake house; or should I say I've
Been thinking about it again; but so
Many years have passed since then
I'm never certain if it happened at all
Or if it was one of those daydreams
That seem to pervade my recollection
Of times gone by when I was a much
Different man; young and brimming
With life and the fervor of discovery
When the sun was brighter and the
Stars shimmered in the northern sky
Days I wished could have gone on
Forever; sitting in the afternoon mist
Holding hands as our legs dangled
Over the edge of the wooden pier
03MAY21
Center of the Universe
Every now and again I try removing myself
From the center of the universe; it's as hard
A task as any, I suppose, considering how
Large and incomprehensible it seems to be
Though I am removed only for a short while
It is a sufficient amount of time for taking a
Closer look at all that surrounds me; all the
Realities and things which comprise my life
And while I'm often hard-pressed with all of
These matters at hand, frequently neglecting
The subtle ways in which you make yourself
Present in my life, I am most grateful to you
It's not your music or the gentle sea breeze;
Not the sunrise or clean white sheets on the
Line hanging to dry in the midday sun; it's a
Soft quiet voice calling your name in the air
02MAY21
Dangling on the Edge
I guess it's just a phase
Something transient I'll
Look back on one day
With a deeper, clearer
Understanding of who
I was during the most
Uncertain and testing
Times I'd ever known
When my virtues were
Stripped clean; all the
Kindness and clement
Ways becoming some
Barely-alive castaway;
Soulless and suffering
Dangling on the edge
Between life and death
01MAY21
A Good Night's Sleep
A good night's sleep was what I needed
Some peace and quiet and the space to
Cry; to let out what's been bottled inside
For too long; released in a flood of tears
The fireball sun now piercing through the
Treetops, their blooms another reminder
That life begins anew and every breath
Is yet another reason to carry on living
Just as the morning fog is burned away
The dreariness lifts and hope is restored
Smiling faces, hugs and kisses await me;
Something new to look at out the window
But the night always returns, sometimes it
Welcomes and others it taunts; it shrouds
Me in wild adventures and drooly pillows
Taking me again and again to the morrow